Unkempt: Unsexed

 Friday, June 24, 2011

What I simply cannot, and I mean can-not, fathom is how some (read: a lot) of Desi women are so unkempt. Every few days, I find myself staring at women who are unreasonably messy. From unpedicured feet to outgrown roots and my biggest pet peeve, undone eyebrows, I've seen it all. And every time, my reaction is the same; I shudder with fear. It's not because I judge them, I definitely do, but because I wonder about the men who sleep with these women. Shudder again. The very thought of a man having to touch, look and be turned on by a woman whose toes are chipped and unpolished, turns me off. Flop show - literally.

Do they not get it? We judge you. Not only other women but men, potential lovers, employers and even that cute guy at your gym; he's noticed your undone feet. You can walk in adorned in all your finery but if you couldn't spare an hour out of your life to get your roots done, and you're single, well, basically, it's your roots that is keeping you from getting some. Of course, it's wrong to judge a book by its cover irrespective of how unimpressive the artwork on the cover is. It's bitchy and you don't want to be with a hot man who judges you because you're feet look like they've been through war. But this is a reality of life. Everyone in this world is godforsaken is judgemental; including you...and me. Once you've won him over with your hotness, then you can work your charm, intelligence and so on, as you convince to buy you all the designer bags you can think of.

The secret to men is simple: care for yourself. A man wants a woman who is immaculately kept. He wants to rip apart her skirt because he knows he'll see waxed "heaven", her legs waxed smooth with red pedicured toes which look hot in black open-toed stilettos. It all sounds filmy, I know, but men are visual people. Putting it bluntly, every man wants to get a hard-on looking at their woman and this can only be achieved by a visually appealing chokri. It tells them, "This woman cares for herself which means she'll "care" for me," if you know what I mean.

Desi girls don't have it easy. We're hairy but thank goodness for our beautiful bodies and wheatish skin. So really, if you ain't keeping up with it, then you ain't being the hottest desi girl you can be. My suggestion? Simple. Spend some time naked checking out your body shody in front your full length mirror. Manicured? Pedicured? Hair done? Waxed? If yes, then work it girl. If not, work on it.

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A Bit of Phone Erotica Anyone?

 Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I often wonder, what was it like back in the day for couples who were separated by circumstances back in the day? Forget the love and all that jazz, what about the sex? Letters could hardly suffice for aiding hard-ons and aching needs. Thankfully, our generation has been literally gifted technology. Yes, we use it for multiple reasons but the number one reason most couples take advantage of the internet and phone is for sex. Whether it's online or phone, we've all (don't deny it now) partaken in sexual intimacy via these two outlets. Irrespective of your preference, it may not completely fulfill your burning hawas on those erotically charged days, but it does the trick...somewhat.

I'm more of a phone sex kinda gal. The voice of my man on the other end gets me riled up and feeling sexier. And of course, using the phone as a veil to rid myself of any inhibitions, I find myself loose and free of any social blocks. I'll admit it, phone sex works when the distance is getting to you...and him. For the most part, the men I've suggested the idea to, have been all about it. In fact, they get "up" and going as soon as the words "phone sex" leave my lips. And I understand why; it's rather rare for Desi girl to come out and ask for sex.. And over the phone? I'm every man's ideal woman, no. But who said I was one to be compared to the rest anyway?

On the flip side though, I've encountered some odd circumstances all courtesy of phone sex has really put me in some rather iffy situations. If one man decided it made him feel a "void" and thus, insisted we not indulge, another became obsessed with me after perhaps some over-sexed sessions. A restraining order put him in place but to his credit, he was my most passionate phone-lover. Either way, my appetite was fulfilled. And that's what matters most, I believe.

Please don't judge me, I'm not a nymph. I just enjoy a good time with my man who is sometimes separated by seven seas from me. And what's wrong in a little phone erotica? I suggest every girl (prudy gals, this is really your way toss that frigidness out the door) shed your hard shell to indulge. Trust me darlings, it's always more fun on the dark side.

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